Can We Go Streaking!
by LP and DBZ
Summary: It's summer and it's time for the annual trip to the private Beach House! Watch as the Akatsuki deal with a drunk Tobi, fan girls, parties, and death notes! This will be one interesting summer...*AUish*
1. Arrival

**Can We Go Streaking?!**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to?**

**Kishimoto: Yes! Share my success with the whole world!**

**Disclaimer: Fine. I, me, you, us, do not own Naruto-**

**Kishimoto: Say it...**

**Disclaimer: *Sighs deeply* Kishimoto sadly does...**

**Enjoy you diabolical nerds and fangirls o.o**

* * *

Chapter One: Arrival!

"Tobi have to use the bathroom!" Tobi whined for the FIFTH time.

Deidara's eye twitched as his grip on the wheel got tighter. "We've stopped four times, five minuets apart," He said through gritted teeth.

Zetsu patted Tobi's head then turned to Deidara, "With children you have to be patient." Zetsu then turned back to Tobi, "**Listen you little fuck, **be a good boy and hold your pee."

Tobi nodded, "Tobi will because Tobi is a good boy."

"Maybe your becoming inpatient, **like that red-head you fuck.**" Zetsu laughed.

Sasori, who was sitting in the front seat couldn't hear a word Zetsu said because of his headphones, that was blasting music into his ears.

Deidara's eye twitched, "Fuck. You. I. Said. And Never Will Be. Gay."

"**Sure. That's what Hidan said about him and Kakuzu.**" Zetsu snickered then his white part forced him to frown.

Deidara's foot slammed on the break, "What, un?!" He spun his head around.

"**Kidding, **Hidan is not gay. And it's rude to call someone something there not." Zetsu smiled again.

"Get it moving, brat." Sasori mumbled, eyeing his phone.

Deidara 'hmph' before moving on, just to stop again.

"Listen brat, what part of moving on do you not understand?" Sasori asked in a pissed tone.

"Sasori, my man, we are at the beach house, yeah." Deidara got of his car while Zetsu helped Tobi with his seatbelt.

They grabbed there stuff out the trunk and moved to the front door.

Deidara stuck his hand in his pocket, finding what he was looking for, he placed the key in the key hole and opened the door.

"Woah, this place is...**fucking gigantic.**" Zetsu said, amazed.

"Couldn't have said it any better, hmm." Deidara muttered, scanning the place.

In the middle of the room was a huge white couch, in the center of the floor was a rug, which a coffee table hovered over, on the wall hung a 50' inch flat screen.

On the left of the room as the kitchen, on the right was the stairs to the bedrooms.

"FUCK!"

The four jumped at the sudden out-burst. Guess someone got here before them.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! EAT A DICK!"

Oh yeah, they know that voice...

Hidan.

"SHUT UP BEFORE I PUSH YOU DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!" The other voice was clearly annoyed, and was known as Kakuzu's voice.

"YOU WISH YOU FUCKING OLD-MISER!"

The next thing they heard was thumps. They looked towards the stairs to see Hidan tumbling down the stairs, naming every swear word in the book.

Following him down, was Kakuzu (He didn't have a mask on, and he had no stitches on his mouth, only on his body.). His arms were crossed against his chest as his face held a pissed off vibe.

"Awe, fuck. You actually had the balls to do it," Hidan muttered as he rubbed his head in pain.

He then spotted the four and grinned.

"My bitches! What's up!" He waved.

"Hidan...**fucker.**" They all said and black Zetsu added something. They were all used to Hidan's foul mouth...even sometimes it gets him into situations like when Kakuzu just pushed him down the stairs. Which was weird; he never seem to get injured badly when he's always getting injured.

"Hn." Kakuzu nodded at them then walked pass Hidan.

"Is any one else here?" Sasori asked Kakuzu.

"No, but Itachi called and said he was on his way-"

Deidara was slightly outraged, "Who invited that emo bastard?"

Sasori chuckled slightly. "Still pissed when he called your art 'stupid' and when he simply said, 'I don't care.'? He was right on it being stupid." Sasori smirked.

"Art is fleeing, art is a bang! Un!" Deidara challenged.

"Ugh, stupid brat. Art is everlasting, art is eternal."

"A BANG!"

"Eternal, brat."

"A BIG EXPLOSION! BANG! YEAH!"

"Eternal," Sasori was getting ticked off.

"A BANG!"

"Eternal," Sasori said louder.

"Bang, hmm." Deidara made sound effects.

"ETERNAL!" Sasori snapped.

"A BANG!"

"Talking about your pathetic art?" A monotone voice was heard from the door.

Itachi and Kisame walked in.

"Awe, were late! I told you we should of never stopped for that damn Dango!" Kisame let there luggage onto the floor.

Then Itachi did something VERY out of character, he grabbed Kisame's collar and stood on his tippy-toes for his height to match his. "Never, ever...speak shit of Dango again."

He then grabbed his luggage and went up stairs, passing Hidan.

"What crawled up his ass and died, yeah?" Deidara asked Kisame.

"Uchiha Pride." Was his simple answer.

"It's not his fault, he cant help himself. But Tobi here...is a different story," Sasori looked around the room, looking for the orange-masked idiot.

"Oh no! We lost him, un!" Deidara panicked, Pein told him, him personally, to watch after him.

"Lost who...?" A feminine voice was heard at the door.

Konan.

And where there is a Konan...

There is a Pein.

"Yes? Who did you lose Deidara?" Pein's voice sent chills up his spine.

"Eh, nothing..." He backed away to the kitchen to find Tobi, inhaling skittles, jolly ranchers, and chocolate.

He then threw the wrappers on the ground and downed a liter of Pepsi.

"Fuck, un! Run!" Deidara ran out of the kitchen.

"What's wrong with you brat?" Sasori asked.

"Tobi's going on a sugar rush!" Deidara called out as he ran to the door.

Pein shook his head then asked if Itachi was here.

"Yeah." Kisame replied.

"ITACHI! THIS IS A CODE T! NOT A DRILL!" Everyone looked at Pein weirdly, before turning there attention to a certain Uchiha who just slid down on the rails by the stairs, holding a needle.

"Where is he?" He asked.

Tobi came rushing out the door, "TOBI IS SUPERMAN! WEEE! NOW TOBI IS BATMAN! RAWWR! NOW TOBI IS TOBI! NEVER FEAR TOBI IS HERE!" Tobi rambled, running in circles.

Itachi chased him, until he got close enough to jab Tobi with the needle.

Tobi went limp as he passed out on the floor.

"Well...damn. This is going to be one hell of a summer..." Kisame laughed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Good thing I got my camera," Konan sang.

"NO!" The men groaned, trying to reach for the camera.

"Fuck! This is going to be so fucking shitty." Hidan cursed.

"Agreed, this is utter bull shit, un." Deidara crossed his arms over his chest.

"Quiet! We will have a good time like we did last year." Pein said, silencing everyone but Konan.

"You know...leaving out the fires, drugs, and bar fights..." She said, counting on her fingers.

"Drugs?" Hidan repeated.

"Pein and Kakuzu were so high they could touch the sky," Deidara snickered, earning a hit from Sasori.

"Awe, fuck you Danna."

"**He'll leave that to you,**" Zetsu snickered also.

Pein dead-panned...

"On second thought..."

Konan finished for him...

"This vacation is going to be the most dumbest shit we'd ever thought of."

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**Review :) More funny chapters ahead!**

**Me: Review...Itachi will give you some dango.**

**Itachi: If you fucking touch my dango I'll sharingan your ass.**

**Me: Eh, on second thought, have Tobi's kitty.**

**Tobi: MEH KITTY!**

**Me: I give up...**


	2. No Peeking!

**Can We Go Streaking?!**

**Disclaimer: Awe, damn, I gotta use the bathroom...Tobi, do the disclaimer.**

**Tobi: *Reads paper* That bitch who writes this dumb ass story does not own Naruto. The badass super mega awesome Kishimoto does. Believe it.**

**Disclaimer: *From Bathroom* DAMMIT KISHIMOTO...Wait...did Tobi just say "Believe It"...?**

* * *

Chapter 2: No Peeking!

You wake up, tired as hell, only one thing could help.

Coffee.

But, when out of coffee...

All hell breaks lose.

Itachi dragged his feet to the kitchen, looking around it. "Where's the coffee maker?"

Pein was the next to come in...having the same reaction as Itachi. "Where's my coffee?"

"There isn't any," Itachi sulked, "It's like a world without dango,"

Pein grabbed his hair.

"I CANNOT BE ON THIS VACTION WITH DUMBASS'S AND NOT HAVE MY FUCKING COFFEE!"Pein anime-cried.

"SHUT UP!" Tobi screamed.

"Was that Tobi?" Itachi asked.

Tobi stormed into the kitchen, poking Itachi's chest, "I WANT MY SLEEP. SLEEP IS GOOD." He then turned on his heals to his room.

"He's not a morning person, is he?" Itachi asked Pein.

Pein was sitting on the floor, knees against his chest, mumbling, "Coffee...coffee...coffee..."

Itachi groaned, "Next thing you know, Deidara's missing his special hair-dryer."

"MY HAIR DRYER! MY HAIR LOOKES LIKE A PUFF!" Deidara screeched.

"SHUT UP, BRAT!" Sasori yelled.

"THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING IF WE HAD COFFEE!" Pein yelled out to the sky...uh...ceiling.

Konan came in the kitchen, tossing a packet to him.

Pein looked at it and instantly beamed at it, "Instant coffee!" He held it up, doing a pose.

"Got anymore?" Itachi asked and Konan nodded, throwing him one.

Itachi also beamed, "DANGO FLAVORED!" He did the same thing as Pein.

"Idiots." Konan muttered.

Pein, who finally got his coffee, cleared his throat.

"I have everything planned-"

"Wait until everyone's up. Like hell if you think I'm waking Tobi up." Konan said, shaking her head.

"Deidara's up, Sasori is possibly up, not sure about anyone else," Itachi stated.

"Let's sit down and enjoy our silence while we can," Pein sat down, sipping his coffee peacefully.

* * *

"Okay," Pein clasped his hands, adjusting his cap on his head.

"Activity one; beach." He read off a paper he held in his hands.

"What the fuck are we suppose to do at the beach?" Hida snarled.

"Maybe we can find Kisame's mom, un..." Deidara snickered.

Kisame glared at Deidara, "Maybe we can find some guys...horny guys who like homosexuals."

"WHAT?! I'LL FUKING BLOW YOUR FACE OFF, YEAH!" Deidara screamed, earning a whack on the head from Sasori.

"Your annoying me, brat." Sasori explained, sticking his hands into his pockets.

"Sorry, Danna, hmm." Deidara muttered, pouting.

"Ah, so Deidara's your bitch?" Hidan laughed loudly, gasping for air.

"Of course/No!" Sasori and Deidara said at the same time.

"What?! Danna!" Deidara gasped loudly.

"It's true, brat. Now shut up." Sasori said calmly.

Deidara frowned as he crossed his arms and didn't say a word.

"It's complicated, only because **they fuck each other.**" Zetsu smirked smugly.

"Tobi loves dolphins! Let's go see dolphins!" Tobi giggled happily.

"Stop offending Kisame!" Itachi said, annoyed.

"Eh...Itachi...I love that your standing up to me and such, but I'm not related to a dolphin in no way." Kisame said, sweat-dropping.

"ENOUGH!" Pein shouted, getting everyone's attention.

"Were going to the beach. End of conversation." Pein said in his "Leader Voice".

"I rather play fucking truth or dare," Hian snorted.

Konan did a rather...girlie...squeal.

She hopped on Pein, making him lose his balance, he stumbling over a bit, he managed to catch himself from falling.

"Konan, you could've gave me a mild heart attack," He huffed.

"Can we do that Pein-kun? I really want to! I mean I really like the idea of truth or dare!" She begged.

Pein sighed deeply, "No, I decided were going to the beach."

Konan pouted, then she smirked in a devious way. She leaned into Pein's ear, whispering to him.

Pein's eyes widen at her words. "Seriously?" He muttered.

"Yes, tonight too." She kept smirking.

Pein cleared his throat, "Ahem, so, yeah, were doing truth or dare."

Konan's smirk stayed on her face, "I change my mind."

The men sighed in relief...

"I want to do Dare or Double Dare."

Hidan shook his head.

"Only you and that fucker, Pein, want to play truth or dare. Or in Pein's case, he want's to get laid. Were going to decide what were going to do while you two fuck." Hidan explained.

"Seems like a reasonable plan," Pein shrugged, walking back into the beach house.

The rest of the men huddle up. Itachi cleared his throat.

"How about we all suggest something, then go by majority rules?" Itachi asked and they nodde in agreement.

"See dolphins!" Tobi clasped his hands together.

Everyone looked at Tobi as I he were retarded...

Oh, wait...

"See some hot bitches changing in the changing rooms at the beach!" Hidan said excitedly.

Kisame, Deidara, Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Sasori raised there hands.

"Sasori?" Itachi asked, "You really want to do that?"

Sasori shrugged, "The truth can be surprising."

"Yes!" Hidan cheered.

* * *

"Move over, Hidan! Un!" Deidara said, trying to look through the hole they put in to see in the changing room.

"Make your own!" Hidan pushed him away.

"Fine, yeah." Deidara huffed, carving one out like everyone else.

"Uh...guys...do you see what I'm seeing?" Hidan drooled at the sight he was seeing.

"Boobs..." Kisame muttered.

"Tobi's pants feel tight!" Tobi whined, clutching his junk.

"Boner!" Sasori yelled, then covered his mouth.

Deidara raised an eyebrow in amusement, "Excuse me, Danna?"

"Shut up, brat." Sasori grumbled.

"Hey...that chick looks familiar..." Itachi said, tapping his chin in thought.

"Isn't that Tsunde and her gang?" Kisame asked, not taking his off the blonde's breast.

"Uh, yeah...the super strong chicks...especially the flat-chested one..." Deidara nodded.

Sasori's ears twitched, "Her name is Sakura and she is the biggest bitch in the world." He said calmly.

"Your acting so out of character, Danna." Deidara pointed out.

"THAT FLAT-CHESTED BITCH BURNED MY PUPPETS AND KICKED ME IN MY BALLS. HELL YEAH I'M ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER!" Sasori yelled, making Deidara shrink slightly.

"Guys..." Kakuzu muttered, which he was ignored.

"Guys!" He said a little louder.

"WE GOT CAUGHT!" He yelled at there face.

"GAHHH!" Tobi yelled as he was being pulled by Tsunde.

"DON'T HURT TOBI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Tobi screamed as he tried crawl away from the she-devil.

"SENPAI! PLEASE HELP TOBI!" Tobi creamed once more as Tsunde dragged him away.

"We were...being watched?" The shy-timid Hinata asked before passing out.

"You made our friend faint," The other blonde, Ino cracked her knuckles.

"So we'll teach you a lesson," Sakura finished, also cracking her knuckles.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME!" Deidara screamed as he tried to run away from Ino, who had a bottle of dye in her hand.

"Anything but the face-" Hidan started but Sakura punched him in the nose.

"Owe, you bitch-" He didn't finish when Sakura kicked him in between the legs.

"Ugh...you...stupid...whore..." He mumbled.

* * *

"So...what your telling me is that three girls...fucked you up like this?" Pein asked, raising an eyebrow then looked at Tobi who was mumbling inaudible words in the corner, "And Tobi got raped?"

"It's not rape if you like it," Itachi pointed out.

"Tobi is a bad boy..." Tobi sounded devastated.

"Luck son of a bitch, I got punched in the nose and kicked in my balls!" Hidan said, clutching his nose.

"That bitch got my clothes," Sasori mumbled, fighting the blush on his face.

"My hair, un!" Deidara touched his hair, which was dyed hot pink.

"It was easy to escape, isn't that right, Kakuzu?" Itachi said, smirking.

"Yeah. If you wanted to peak, do it right." Kakuzu was also smirking.

"Where did they get these clothes?" Kisame tried to take off a skirt which was forcefully put on him.

"I think we can all say this is Hidan's fault."

"I don't even care anymore," Hidan frowned.

"Wait...where's Zetsu?" Kisame asked.

"I stayed behind to **watch Pein and Konan.**" Zetsu said, walking into the room.

"You what!?" Konan blushed.

"**Hehehe...gotcha'.**" Zetsu laughed.

* * *

**Me: I tried my best. Review. Next chapter is funnier...trust meh :)**

**Tobi: Did Tobi...do grown up things with Tsunde?**

**Me: Yes. And you loved every moment of it.**

**Tobi: o.o Er...Tobi is a good boy?**

**Me: Bitch please.**


	3. Death Notes

**Can We Go Streaking?!**

**Disclaimer: I own a plushie Kakashi and Tobi. Therefore, I own all Naruto characters.**

**Kishimoto: *Slaps Disclaimer then takes plushies* These are now mine!**

**Disclaimer: My babies!**

**Kakashi and Tobi: Uh...**

* * *

"Rise and shine sweet cheeks!" Konan jumped onto Pein's stomach.

"Oof." He huffed as her weight was added.

"What?" He snapped.

"We've got mail!" She said excitedly.

Pein rolled his eyes, taking the letter out of her hands.

"Listen you...bitch...stay away from my man or I will carve your eyes out and chop off your...breast...and sow them too your...head? Signed fangirl one" Pein read aloud, slowing down at each word he spoke.

Konan gasped as she covered her breast, "..."

Pein laughed nervously, "Hehehe...looks like I got a secret admirer..."

* * *

"Mhmm," Itachi hummed as he read a letter with his thick set of reading glasses. "Oh," He said.

"Hey, Kisame," He called out. "What's up Dango-addict?" Kisame jumped off his bed and to were Itachi was.

"Read this...aloud. I think it's for you..." Itachi smirked proudly.

Kisame shrugged and started to read, "Itachi-hottie is mine and mine only fish-breath! He's not gay so stop trying to rape him with your...fish stick! Touch him...no even look at him...I'll be having dolphin-fin soup for dinner tonight! Signed...fangirl two..." Kisame said awkwardly.

"Okay one, fish stick? Two, gay? Three...I'm not a dolphin." Kisame said, slightly offended.

"Next thing you know I have a death note coming from Kisame fan girls..." Itachi said emotionlessly as he picked up the next of his mail.

* * *

"Blah...blah...what?...bang?" Deidara slowly looked over his e-mail on his iphone as he nudged Sasori, who was listening to "Hollywood Undead". "What, brat?" Sasori mumbled. "Read...are you listening to Hollywood Undead?" Deidara narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah, so? It's better than that Linkin Park." Sasori shrugged. "What?! Linkin Park is the shit! You don't have taste in art nor music, un!" Deidara debated. "Linkin Park sucks balls. It sucks balls so hard, it's on the same level as One Direction." Sasori smirked.

"Hollywood Undead fucks each other so hard, it's on the same level as Justin Beiber." Deidara seemed more proud of his statement.

"You didn't just say that, brat." Sasori gritted his teeth. "I did, danna-no-fuck, hmm!" Deidara smirked. Sasori took his head phones off, cracking his neck before attacking Deidara.

* * *

"Yo, Miser-ass." Hidan called out, getting up from his bed. "So I was reading this note,"

"You can read?" Kakuzu smirked. Hidan ignored his comment and continued.

"Anyway, old-fuck, someone sent me a deathnote, about you! You have someone that actually wants to fuck you!" Hidan laughed, holding his sides.

"Oh?" Kakuzu was even surprised at this

* * *

**Sorry no Zetsu & Tobi. Anyway: Next time is when fangirls attack. I need your OC's for each member! Also, the next question is who do you love better? Linkin Park or Hollywood Undead? I love Linkin Park better, so saying that stuff was hard for me. Sorry for the offense to One Directioners and Beilebers**. Review and answer questions, plz! You may enter 2 OC'S.

Name:

Personality:

Pairing:

Appearance:


End file.
